When I was a kid, I thought Han Solo said, “Prepare for Jungle Light Speed!” instead of what he really says, which is “Prepare for the jump to Light Speed!”
“Jungle Light Speed” made complete sense to me, however, for two reasons. First, the speed of light is not sufficiently fast enough to travel through space in any reasonable amount of time. Every kid knows that. A speed beyond light speed is required. Jungle Light Speed. Second, jungles were wild, dangerous, hyper, out of control, places, or at least they were in my adolescent mind. So it didn’t strike me as strange that “Jungle” would be used to describe a speed of light that was dangerously heightened beyond all possible limits.
So I grew up believing “Jungle” was both a noun and an adjective. I even used it this way in conversation periodically, which is interesting because, though a fallacy, it generally always works. If someone says to you, “That was jungle crazy!” you are going to think they are an idiot, but you will also know exactly what they mean. “I got a jungle fever” . . . that one probably wouldn’t work.
The funny thing is I’ve met other people who have misheard this line as well and grew up believing that “Jungle” was an adjective. One of them is my good friend Jason Conforto, who is working on The Strawberries of Eldritch with me. So I know it wasn’t just me, or at least I wasn’t the only one. I suspect there are more Jungle Light Speeders out there, like me.
The other funny thing is I didn’t watch Star Wars just once, as a kid. I watched it hundreds of times, and I heard Han say “Jungle Light Speed” every single time. It wasn’t till I was nigh unto an adult when I heard it right, and that was a dark, reality shattering day, let me tell you.
To be honest, I wish Han did say “Jungle Light Speed.” Not only would it give Star Wars an ever so slightly deeper sense of being its own universe, but, once you get your head around it, “Jungle” is an awesome adjective.
